Sinking into sweet uncertainty

I don't know but I think I'm in some sort of rut... almost like I'm waiting for something to happen, let time do its thing and yet refusing to contribute for some strange reason.

Sometimes it seems so tragic but I know I can make it through, I have to make it through, we can make it through and everything will be so much better, so much happier.

I can't wait.

I want to lose myself in songs like Jimmy Eat World's Sweetness, If You Don't, Don't, Praise Chorus. I want to hear the melodies, the lyrics, the space I'm in when I hear these songs... it soothes me...

I don't want to do work... I need good motivation, like a good professor, like Mary Hardy - then I'll enjoy the work. But given any poorly taught course with limited interest from me, it's difficult to motivate myself.

I want to be in a room with just my music. To calm my heart, that is overwrought with emotions.

The memory of Jimmy Eat World's live concert on November 17, 2004 at the Riviera Theater in Chicago makes me smile:
"I wanna always feel like part of this was mine
I wanna fall in love tonight"

And I did.